Positive Thinking

There are a few ways of thinking

• Negative thinking
• Neutral thinking
• Positive thinking
• Mixture of all of the above (the healthiest option)

Every day millions of thoughts cross our minds, some are bizarre some scary and negative other may be enjoyable and positive. On average a brain uses 20-25% of the total body energy. That is a lot, about 400-500 calories a day! What happens when this energy is invested mostly in the negative thoughts? We can than experience depressive symptoms, anxiety or both. That is why we need to be careful using this precious energy.      

    1. Why do I engage in negative thinking?

• Biological predisposition (can be managed!)
• Environment you were brought up in or live in  
• Abuse in childhood
• Other stressful experience  in the past
• Inadequate parenting
• Bullying
• Learned behaviour
• Current difficulties and stressful life situation*

       *The most stressful life events

based on the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale (1967)

• Death of a spouse
• Divorce
• Marital separation
• Imprisonment
• Death of a close family member
• Personal injury or illness
• Marriage
• Dismissal from work
• Marital reconciliation
• Retirement
• Change in health of family member 
• Pregnancy
• Sexual difficulties
• Gain a new family member
• Business readjustment
• Change in financial state 3
• Death of a close friend

To see more stressful events go to:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale

   

2. When does the negative thinking become a problem?

Negative thinking is normal and most of us at some stage of our lives engage in it. It becomes an issue when we lose control over it and when it interferes with our daily functioning. Negative thinking can be a problem if most of the time you:

• Find it difficult to fall asleep because you constantly worry
• Have recurrent nightmares
• Have difficulty getting up in the morning because the first thought that you are aware of is negative
• Have a negative view on life
• Seem to be stuck in a difficult situation
• Can’t see much space for improvement or change
• Are told by people that you are negative
• Sometimes  manage to keep it a secret and put on a brave face but inside you feel weak and tired 
• Feel like you have no energy
• Feel unmotivated
• Don’t enjoy activities that you previously liked

         3. Possible Physical Symptoms:

• Headaches
• Dry or tight through
• Stomach ache
• Muscle tension (i.e. neck, shoulders, chest, back, legs)
• Feeling of tiredness
• Disturbed sleep or excessive sleep

         4. How to think in a positive way?

In life we rarely can get the perfect 100%! If we perceive our life as purely negative, we make a so called logical error. Unfortunately it is possible that we unconsciously trained our brain to pay attention to the negativity, or our brain may have been programmed by someone else to do so. Fortunately if we were able to learn to think in a negative way, more likely we also have the skills to teach it the reverse – the positive thinking.

Stop and think:

            1. What is your first memory of a negative thought?  
           i.e. I was worried because the children were laughing at me. (5 years old)

               (childhood, when got married, when started a new job etc)? 

                       2. How long have you been thinking in a negative way?
          i.e. since the first negative memory when I was 5, 
          so on and off for the last 30 years.

Usually it has been going on for quite a while, a few months, years, sometimes on and off since childhood. The good news is that you can change it and if you work hard enough you will train your brain to think in a new positive way. It can be hard work, but it is worth it. Life is wonderful if you can learn to see the positives around you.

Task 1:                                                                                                                                                              

                       a) Start a diary

Every day (preferably evening time ) write down a few short positive sentences or bullet points (no less than 3 no more then 10).

Examples of positives can be anything you like. It is important to keep it simple. Most people are happy when they get a big cheque, a new car or go on holiday. We want to be happy about the basic, small events, and things like for example:

• Nice weather
• Chat with a friend
• Reading an interesting article
• Eating tasty breakfast
• Good night sleep
• Listening to a favourite song
• Buying a new diary
• Engaging in self improvement and this exercise
• Wanting to improve
• Being motivated to improve
• Learned something useful today about myself or others
• Bought something new

  

           b) Recall

      Every morning immediately after you wake up and become aware of a new day recall the tree positives that you wrote down last evening

     

     c) Discover

      New day means new opportunities to discover simple positives around you.

Be aware of them and try to remember them.

     

      d) Be grateful for:

• The fact that you want to make an effort no matter how difficult it may seem
• Opportunity to engage in self improvement
• Ability to practise noticing simple positives around you
• Ability to observe yourself and others
• Every day as it is a new beginning
• Any positive things that you notice no matter how small they may seem

Task 2: Practise Breathing Relaxation

go to the to link below access the Breathing Relaxation:

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1121809305958541352#editor/target=post;postID=7131035636754987051

WARNING!

This can be your new life skill. You need to practise it as long as it works unconsciously – noticing positives will happen without you having to think about it. You can get tired trying to find positives, but for sure you will feel even more tired thinking in a negative way, so just consider which option is better for you... There will be times when you will rebel 

and refuse to practise. There will be times when your negative thinking will take over telling you that there 

is no point in all this, you will never change. People change! You can change! All you need it to keep practising and trying over and over again until it will became natural to you. Every time you make 

a mistake, fix it next day. It is not about making mistakes it is about fixing them and moving on. You won’t avoid mistakes but you can manage them. Every time you feel weak, read your diary.